So, it’s been a while since I’ve written an etiquette post (sorry!). But it’s also been a while since I’ve written, period. For this, I blame procrastination as well as an occasional lack of inspiration. If I have nothing interesting, inspiring or funny to say, then I don’t see the point in publishing a post that will essentially be the written equivalent of verbal diarhea. You’re welcome.
Anyway, back to the etiquette posts. People often assume that my social etiquette posts are a reflection of who I am as a person; they incorrectly peg me as angry or negative, bitchtacular and/or unhappy with life. My reponse to that? Fuck you. No, seriously. First of all, I’m happy for a variety of reasons, none of which I need to justify. Secondly, I don’t write to impress anyone, nor do I write to gain social acceptance. I write for myself. So if you don’t like what I have to say, you can take your judgemental ass to another blog. If you can’t detect the sarcasm and humour in my posts, or simply admit that I’m telling it like it is – expressing thoughts that you yourself may be thinking but can’t muster up the balls to express, then that’s not my problem. OK? OK. Oh shit. Did that sound angry? SO SORRY…
At this time last year, I embarked on a new journey that would allow me to continue my soul searching and inner ‘transformation,’ so to speak. As some of you may know, I’ve been practicing yoga since 2006, but it’s only in the last 2-3 years that I have truly immersed myself in my practice both physically and mindfully. This has yielded some tremendous benefits: clarity of mind, an inward calmness, physical well-being, spirituality and most importantly, self-awareness. It was my ongoing desire for self-awareness that led me to the idea of being mentored. More on that after the break… There has absolutely been a shift between how I felt/acted/reacted a few years ago and how I feel/act/react to things today. When I start getting stressed out, I find myself taking a few yoga breaths to chill out; when I’m faced with confrontation, or an asshole, I am able to step back and think about how I’m going to react to that person or situation. These days, I often don’t react at all, choosing to walk away or simply let go. I’ve learned to choose my battles, and often ask myself if something is really worth the energy or trouble. Trust me – this is HUGE progress for me. Anyway, in January 2012, I was feeling a tremendous amount of angst, frustration and anger at situations that I just didn’t know how to control. Actually, it wasn’t that I didn’t know how to control them, it was that there were so many of them – all of which impacted significant areas of my life. This certainly contributed to a negative state of mind. I WAS pissed off and no, I was NOT feeling the love. So… that’s one reason why I wrote so many etiquette posts when I started this blog, LOL. I was spending way too much time focusing on the negative rather than the positive. In the last year however, I have written very few etiquette posts… and I totally miss them!
In December 2012, I asked my friend and yoga teacher to mentor me. I wanted to work with someone who could be objective, and with whom I connected and shared common interests with. Choosing to be mentored is a big decision because it means you need to be honest with yourself and with your mentor. In many ways, it means that you have to be vulnerable to another person because let’s face it – if you don’t open up about your shit, you’re not going to get anywhere. In our first session, B and I talked about the specific areas/goals that I wanted to address/accomplish, and for one year, we focused on these, discussing ways to improve upon them, see what worked and what didn’t, adjusting goals accordingly. Flash forward to now. Big difference between how I felt last year and how I feel now. Did anything significant happen? Not really. I believe that we all have room to improve and my personal goal has always been to be the best person that I can be, and I have been working hard to change the areas in my life that I felt needed changing. Sometimes that means changing my mindset or attitude. Sometimes it means staring my shit in the face and truly seeing what’s there. Sometimes it means being tested – and how I react will tell me who I am and what I’m made of. I de-cluttered my life to make room for new and exciting possibilities. I realized that I have to be patient because shit won’t change until the time is right. I learned that progress is good and that it’ sthe building stone to greater things. I walked away from relationships that were going nowhere and hadn’t been going anywhere since who the fuck knows. I got rid of the energy vampires. I stopped feeling guilty about no longer investing my time in people who for all intents and purposes, didn’t give a shit about me. It’s not always easy to walk away from people, but if you find yourself on the receiving end of nothing, what’s the point? I can focus my energy on things that are way more important like yoga or chocolate. So at the end of 2012, I set positive intentions relative to the goals I want to accomplish this year and I started 2013 off feeling super positive and energized. This past weekend I had my first mentoring session of 2013 with B and he is definitely my gauge; he’s in a much better position to see the changes in me than I am, and he points these out to me on a regular basis. Right now, I feel great. I feel balanced.
Now, this is all fine and dandy, but it makes writing bitchy and sarcastic etiquette posts much more difficult! But do not fear – I’m working on a new etiquette post now. After all, I can’t let my gift of sarcastic wit go to waste, can I?