This morning I watched The Today Show before work. It’s part of my morning ritual – wake up, roll out of bed, take meds, make coffee, drink coffee with Matt Lauer. Now, there’s a lot of weird shit out there, but I generally trust Matt & Co. to report on important and interesting things, with the occasional forehead slapper thrown in for good measure. It was business as usual until they started talking about dolls. Not just any dolls – dolls known as “the reborns.” No people, I am not talking about religious nut jobs suddenly feeling the need to become born again Christians, or a town that’s been invaded by zombies. I’m talking about adult women buying dolls and treating them like their own children. Their own human children. Say what?
These “reborns” cost about $4000 and have incredibly lifelike features (read: creeptastic); they’ve got hair, are hand-painted and they wear clothes and shit. Well I don’t know if they shit but they just might. Anyway – women are buying these dolls and using them to fill the void in their hearts. They treat them like real babies – they talk to them, cuddle them, take them out in public, change their diapers. What. the. fuck?! Personally, I think these women are nuts. Honestly, if you so desperately want to give your love and affection to something then get a dog. They actually breathe and are guaranteed to return the affection. Now, I understand that some women are barren – but I don’t understand how a fake baby will fill that void. I also don’t understand why you would pay $4000 for a doll – much less 600 of them. In the link that I provide below (courtesy of MSNBC), a woman uses this logic:
“Children talk to their dolls, and they express their feelings toward their dolls,” she told Lauer. “And as a 40- or 50- or 60-year-old woman, you do the same thing. You’re still the same person you were when you were an 8-year-old.”
Really. Really? You’re telling me that you are the same person that you were when you were 8-years old? Are you on crack? A 40-year old woman who has grown up and evolved is nothing like she was at 8-years old! Women like this make me wish I was a dude.
You can read the full article here if you want to be creeped out (or read up on the full story) (or buy doll).
It’s the end of the world people.