Last Wednesday I flew out to New York for work. I chose an 8pm flight because I wanted to avoid traffic and other assorted bullshit. Thankfully, my drive to the airport was uneventful and there was no shit in sight – that is, until I got to the airport. I drove in exactly the same way I always do and immediately hopped into the lane on the far left, knowing that this would lead me right into the Proxi-Parc. That’s where I hit a wall. Literally. Well, I didn’t actually hit a wall with Mo (my car, for those of you who are unfamiliar) – but what I did ‘hit’ was a big slab of cement that prevented me (and anyone else) from accessing the goddamn Proxi-Parc. I had no choice but to drive past the Proxi-Parc, into the Arrivals area (fun!), drive my ass around the entire airport and then right on OUT of it into traffic. Twice! Now the third time (yes, you read correctly), I was visibly agitated and cursing like a motherfucker. I mean seriously – how fucking hard is it to post road signs that clearly indicate how one accesses the fucking parking lot? Am I supposed to guess? You’re doing construction – doesn’t it make sense to put up big-ass signs directing travelers on how to access certain parts of the airport? Anyway, I was livid.
On my third attempt, I once again found myself driving past the Proxi-Parc entrance that I had no access to (all the while, I kept seeing other cars driving in without a problem). At this point I seriously considered going home – I mean, how much does one girl have to take just to access a fucking parking lot? As I drove through Arrivals (again), I was on my way back out of the airport (again) when I saw a sign to my left that read ‘Stationnement Aerogare’ or some shit like that. I had no idea if this was the way into the magical shitdom of Pierre Elliot Trudeau Airport but goddamn, I was going in. And thus, I was finally able to access the Proxi-Parc. It only took 40 minutes and three times around the damn place but whose counting? So I drove into the level parking to find that it was full and there was nary a parking spot in sight. At this point I was ready to lose my shit all over the place. After driving from one level to the next, I finally found a spot – thank you fellow traveler for leaving when you did. Off to check in. Finally.
I checked in using a kiosk and have no shituation to report there. Going through Customs was another story. I think we were about 50-60 people waiting to go through. There were two Customs officers on duty. And they were slow as shit. And it was like a sauna in the bloody waiting area. It took me 40 minutes just to go through Customs. By the time I joined my colleagues at the gate, they were sure I’d bailed on the business trip. I won’t lie – I came pretty close to going home! The flight to NY was uneventful, but we had to wait on the tarmac for a half hour before we could get off a plane. I swear, last Wednesday my patience was being tested in a major way. When we finally got off the plan into La Ghetto, we of course had to wait for a cab, and it was raining. Needless to say that I was very, very glad to get to the hotel. After dumping our crap, we went for a bite to eat then headed back to the hotel for some much needed sleep.
Except I couldn’t turn off the lights in my room <disgruntled sigh>. After trying to switch off the hanging lights with no success, and being unable to turn off the table light, I was ready to pull the plugs out of both but of course, I couldn’t access the outlets. I had to call the front desk, who then sent up an engineer to turn off my lights. I also couldn’t figure out how to use the stupid handheld shower thingy until my colleague told me on the flight back. We’ll call it fatigue and leave it at that.
I arrived home Friday night, looking forward to my bed and my shower (with pressure and you know, heat). The next day, I took a road trip to Vermont. Here are some pics of NY – pics of VT to come on Tuesday!