Because truly, I personally don’t think I’ll encounter anyone as moronic as this guy in the two remaining weeks of March. That said, if you meet someone who surpasses this guy’s level of idiocy, please alert me ASAP!
An acquaintance of mine who, for all intents and purposes, still believes that there are decent men to be met via the online dating community (is she nuts?), forwarded this to me a few days ago. As you know from this post and this post, I think online dating is complete and utter bullshit. This “profile” only reinforces that belief and serves to prove my point – that single men utilizing online dating web sites, are single for a REASON. Wake up assholes! For any men reading this post, I’m not saying that this level of stupidity and arrogance is strictly reserved for men – but I’m writing from a female perspective and I write based on feedback that I’ve received from women. Feel free to jump in if you’ve encountered your own version of female-craziness via the online dating world, otherwise known as ‘The Zoo.’ I would love to hear what you have to say.
In order to preserve this guy’s stupidity and arrogance (and his inability to write cohesively), I have not modified or edited this text in any way. After all, it’s only fair that he be portrayed as the loser that he is, right? In addition, I have removed any inferences to the web site in question, and any identifying features that would lead you to this guy – after all, I don’t want to get sued. Lastly, for your reading pleasure, I have provided my commentary here and there – be sure to read all the way down!
THIS SITE IS HILARIOUS! … gotta luv the online dating scene! [RAnnDomized: So why are you on a dating web site loser?Did you think it was a comedy club?]
#1) IF THE PICTURES YOU POST ARE NOT ACTUALLY YOU…. YOU DON’T NEED A BOYFRIEND, YOU NEED A PSYCHOLOGIST!!! [RAnnDomized: Really? Have you seen your picture lately? You look like a fucking hobo! That said, men are just as guilty of posting fake photos, or photos of themselves taken 20 years ago as women are. And BTW, inappropriate use of exclamation points…!!!!!!!]
#2) EVERY BODY I KNOW IS ON THIS SITE… [RAnnDomized: Oh yeah? How many bodies do you know? And more importantly, are they alive? I guess if every ‘body’ you know is on ‘this’ site, then you must know of lot of assholes.] NOT ONE OF THEM WILL ACTUALLY ADMIT IT!!! REMEMBER IF YOU FOUND ME ON HERE, ITS ONLY BECAUSE YOU ARE ON HERE YOURSELF! LOL… FUNNY WHEN I GET “OMG YOUR ON X”… AAAAAAA AND SO ARE YOU! DUH!!! [RAnnDomized: Can you fucking learn the difference between ‘your‘ & ‘you’re‘ and ‘its‘ & ‘it’s‘ !? Also, if you’re trying to demonstrate shock or surprise, try using “Ah!” instead of multiple uses of the letter ‘A.’ Duh?]
#3) WOMAN IF YOU HAVE A KID, EXCEPT THE “MILF” TITLE WITH PRIDE LOL and disclose it where it clearly states “have children? PUT YES or at least PREFER NOT TO SAY!!!” [RAnnDomized: Right, because every single mother with a kid will by default, appeal to idiots like you. Lucky them! And BTW, if I “have a kid except the MILF title”… really? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Take a dictionary next time you’re trying to sound intelligent. You obviously need to invest in one.] A real man will love you and your kid!!! [RAnnDomized: A ‘real’ man wouldn’t write this bullshit profile, or assume that every mother with a single kid should be dumped into the bogus category of MILF.]
#4) Last time I checked “dating” meant drinks/dinner/coffee/lounge that kind of thing… if we are on a date I SHOULD be able to actually touch you! [RAnnDomized: Really? When was the last time you checked? Since when does dating equivocate being manhandled by fuckers like you? If you’re on a date with a girl, you’re entitled to SEE her, not touch her dumbass.] SINCE WHEN DID DATING BECOME ENDLESS EMAIL MESSAGES, TEXT MESSAGES, BLACK BERRY MESSAGES, MSN AND TELEPHONE CONVO’S TIL WEE HRS OF THE NIGHT!?!?!? [RAnnDomized: Since you joined The Zoo, you useless idiot!] Hilarious I have had girls I connected with off this site who have wanted to have phone sex with me :s yet not willing to even meet up for a coffee lol… is this what the world has become? Not into cyber sex ladies, and dont need a digital girl friend- ALREADY HAVE ENUFF LOL 😛 [RAnnDomized: Oh yeah, I’m sure you have ‘enuff’ digital girlfriends – in the form of Avatars. Or perhaps jacked up animated characters that live in your alternate reality, AKA the video games that you play because you can’t get a date with a real woman.]
#5) Putting half naked pics wont get you a boyfriend… it will get you a broken heart! [RAnnDomized: Oh yeah? Well posting pics of your random body parts will get YOU fuck all. Why? Because you’re an obnoxious moron who assumes most women are like you – interested in the superficiality of big fucking biceps and hot rods. In addition, woman who post half-naked pics of themselves are probably doing so to emphasize that a loser like YOU, will never be able to date them. Just thought I’d point that out.] Unless your a lil pornostar like most girls these days which in that case your profession should say “escort”… oh wait, that would mean you at least get PAID for your services!!! [RAnnDomized: Is this guy for real? Since when did women become default porn stars simply because they decided to try online dating? Hey dumbass – you’re the first one to ask for a full body shot when you message a chick, so spare me the fake compassion and get off your Hugh Hefner horse!] lol Secondly, do any of you woman actually want thousands of dead beat loser guys [RAnnDomized: You mean like you?] messaging you “YOUR SEXY”??? [RAnnDomized: My sexy what?]The real HOTTIES already know they are hot and hearing “YOUR HOT or SEXY PIC” is the last thing a beautiful woman wants to hear on here or in person!!! Any man who has actually dated a hot girl WOULD know that!!! [RAnnDomized: I guess that rules you out because no woman I know would waste her time chatting with you, much less gracing you with her presence in real life.]
#6) THIS ONE GOES OUT TO ALL ON HERE WHO I GUARANTEE SHARE MY SAME FEELINGS… Who the heck creates the “MATCHES” list?!?!?!?!? I’d be better off registering on a “Russian rent a bride” site before settling for 99% of the ppl they put on my list lol.. [RAnnDomized: You’d be better off getting a life – comb your hair, get an education and hey – get a job while you’re at it! You’re getting shitty matches because you’re an asshole! Haven’t figured that out yet?]
I’m sure I will come up with “NEW” things to add but for now I think I ranted enough….[RAnnDomized: Please, spare those poor women the aggravation of your stupidity. You’re an asshole – no one cares what you have to say, particularly when you can’t properly formulate a thought, nor can you spell. Did I mention that you’re an asshole?]
For the record, I didn’t come on here to find the love of my life, to seek a serious relationship, or search for a new girlfriend! [RAnnDomised: Uh… OK? Then why did you join The Zoo? Is this your weak attempt at reverse psychology? Think women will beat down your door with THIS profile?] Dont get me wrong, never turn down a hot date [RAnnDomised: I’m sure that would be true if you could actually get one.] lol but not looking to skip any steps or rush into anything serious as my mind/focus [RAnnDomised: You have a mind?] is on my financial future. I want to be that MAN who can provide for his family and ensure his children don’t have to endure the stress and obstacles I have!!! [RAnnDomised: Yes, being born stupid is quite the obstacle to overcome, especially when it follows you into your adult life.] I always been the guy taking care of everybody else around me and neglecting to satisfy my own needs, wants and desires! Right now, im doing ME! [RAnnDomised: Oh yeah? And how does it feel to be doing yourself because no decent woman will?] Come to believe that if you want to find the one- BE THE ONE! One cannot do that without time, energy and sacrifice but unfortunately most girls I have dated lately fail to understand that! [RAnnDomized: Riiiiight. Whatever dude.]
About me? A sweet genuine soul with ambitions beyond most ppl’s wildest imagination. [RAnnDomized: No, you are an arrogant asshole. There’s a big difference.]
I love to create and develop; friendships, partnerships, investment portfolios, muscles lol, but most importantly memories and experience! [RAnnDomised: Well yes, because muscles are the key to every relationship.]
I’ve always believed; we get not what we want and wish for but what we deserve! [RAnnDomised: So if I want a Big Mac, I won’t get it unless the universe decides that I’m worthy enough?]
Therefore I leave this profile here to put myself out there while I continue to work endlessly on the dreams and ambitions I do have control over! [RAnnDomised: Must be nice to live in your delusional world. I guess your profile is going to be up for a very, very, VERY long time.]
Love? not something that can be found, can only be developed so cheers to developing new friendships and the magic that can come from one!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day y’all!