The other day, I shared a few insights on why certain men are still single (much to their surprise I’m sure) in my post Etiquette for the Online Stalker. Just when I thought the dating scene couldn’t get any more precarious, someone sent me this link <insert loud sigh accompanied by head shaking here>. In case you can’t be bothered to click on the link, I’m going to fill you in on the source of my disbelief.
This article is about a guy who travels the world… with his blow-up doll. Yes, you have read correctly. He has 14 dolls – and he’s spent £16,000 on travel and outfits, including £1,270 of lingerie. Lingerie people! For a fuckin’ doll! But that’s not all – he’s taken his doll Bianca, skydiving too. Really, what is an appropriate reaction to something like this? I have no words. Except to say that he is, of COURSE, Canadian. Great! That’s the kind of reputation I’m looking for! Did I mention that he was married? I can imagine my next trip now:
“Hi, I’m Ann.”
“Hi Ann – where you from?”
“I’m from Montreal.”
“Oh yeah? Montreal’s in Canada, isn’t it?”
“Isn’t that weirdo whose addicted to blow-up dolls from there?”
I digress. But before I continue, meet Bianca:
Moving along to more interesting news… DD emailed me earlier to inform me of a new trend that is becoming increasingly popular amongst the male community. It’s called the ‘nut pole.’ Would you like to take a wild guess at what this trend involves? No? Well then, I shall tell you. In order to partake in the ‘nut pole’ phenomenon, one must jump from a chair and land directly onto a pole. Yes, a pole. What the fuck!? The intended purpose is to land on your nuts. Men, I ask you: where is the appeal in this activity? Are you that sexually deprived? Jesus! I have no nuts and the thought alone makes me cringe. Sadly, I have no photo to share with you (you’re probably thanking me for that right now). This is messed up! That said, if any of my man readers want to try this out and report back, I’m willing to write about 😀
No wonder there are so many single men out there. If you’re not nut-poling, you’re dating inflatable dolls – or stalking women on sites like Plenty of Crap. And you wonder why you’re single. Gee, I wonder.
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