Passengers are not permitted to ride on the platform.
Yup, that’s the quote. But wait… there’s more!
On my train ride home in the evenings, I always sit in the last car because once we pull into the station and I step off the train, I’m only a five minute walk from Mo (a.k.a my car). I usually get up to go stand by the door two stops before mine because I need to give my booty a good shake; sadly, the ol’ sacrum hasn’t fully healed yet. Also, I want to be the first person to get the hell off the damn train because, well, you know the answer to that if you’ve read this post on commuter etiquette. If you haven’t read it, then you want to go and do that immediately.
So anyway, there I am, standing in my usual spot by the door and gazing through the glass, watching the tracks speed by when my eyes fell upon these words:
Assholes are not permitted to ride on the platform.
Sweet Jesus! Someone’s been reading and learning! My efforts to rid the world of train-riding assholes have not been in vain! <The heavens open up above me and angels begin to sing>.
Last week, the sign had several letters missing from the word ‘passengers.’ As most of you know, I am quite fond of the word ‘asshole,’ and I would be lying if I said the above [amended] quote hadn’t crossed my mind. Oh it crossed it all right – except the conductor is always sat on my end of the train so defaming ‘his’ property is out of the question.
I couldn’t help but laugh when I saw the sign – people behind me couldn’t see what I was looking at, so they all think I’m nuts now. Good! Maybe they’ll stop invading my personal space!
Got something to say? Speak!
Like what you’ve been reading? Then go like us on Facebook!