Off the Top of My Head: Holiday Edition

1- Why does WordPress notify me when I reply to my own posts? I know I commented and I don’t need an email telling me about something I did 1 second ago.  And why the hell is it snowing in my browser?

2- Yes, I live in the province of Quebec, land of snow dumps, snow hills and snow bunnies, but why has it been snowing for 48 hours? Snow dumps don’t usually last that long so… can we get on with it already? Note to fellow Canadians (especially Montrealers): SHUT UP! I’m sick of hearing you people bitch and moan every time it snows! We live in Montreal, where snow makes an appearance at the same time every year. Why are you surprised that it’s snowing in December? Why are you surprised that the snow is actually staying on the ground? DUH – it’s -10 out. What do you expect?  If you have a problem with snow, then I suggest you move. Maybe you can go down under and complain about the brightness of the sun!

3-  Can you please not walk in a crowded mall while reading your emails on your Blackberry/ iPhone? The holidays are almost here. People are shopping. A LOT of people. If you absolutely need to read your emails, then go sit your ass down in a coffee shop instead of walking at a snail’s pace with your head down, oblivious to the world around you. I really need to write an etiquette post about shopping.

4- Hey you! Yes, YOU sporting the earpiece! Do you realize how self-importantly stupid you look? What? No… no I don’t think the earpiece was meant to be used as a fifth limb. Come again? You need it? Is that right… Would this be because you’re the CEO of a large corporation who absolutely must be reachable at all times, or because you’re just trying to look important and impress the people around you? No, I’m not impressed but thanks for asking. Hey easy buddy. What do you mean I’m a smart-ass? I might be a smart-ass but at least I don’t have a fifth limb growing out of my head!

5- Wanna know how you resolve a dog poop situation? You take the turd, go over to your neighbor’s, and dump it right outside his window. Before you all get riled up, I would like to point out that the crap belongs to the neighbor’s dog. The lawn belongs to me. My lawn and dog shit, do not go well together. Anyone have any other words for ‘poop?’ I’ve used about 4 in this paragraph alone.

6- I’ve accepted the fact that the pervert and his shitting dog are never going to leave. But can someone please tell me why the fuck he sits outside late at night, in the middle of winter? Not only does he sit out there for extended periods of time smoking, but he coughs repeatedly. Actually, is it called coughing when it sounds like both your lungs are about to be projectile-launched out of your chest? Here’s a thought: Why don’t you quit smoking? Then perhaps you’ll stop coughing, you bloody idiot.

7- In exactly seven days, I will be on vacation. I will have no computer and no CrackBerry. I will be unavailable for any and all work-related crap – I don’t even want to hear the word ‘work.’ Yes, your understanding is correct – I’m sick of work and work-related stress and December 21st, 5 p.m. can’t come soon enough.

8- I’m still trying to figure out why certain people have inflated egos. How does one acquire a big ego? Are they born with it or what?

9- What compels people on Twitter to follow me? And when you decide to follow me, do you actually know why you’re doing it? I’m going to guess that you don’t, otherwise you wouldn’t follow me today only to un-follow me tomorrow. Note to Tweeps: Just because you follow me, doesn’t mean I’ll follow you.

10- Random thought! Coming up on RAnnDomized: My playlist for 2010! So start thinking about your favorite tunes people – because I’ll want to hear all about them!

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16 thoughts on “Off the Top of My Head: Holiday Edition

  1. First, I need to know…….How’d you find a cartoon of me and the Hubs? 🙂

    #1- I can’t figure it out either. Considering my memory issues, I think WordPress has jumped on board with my doctors office to keep me from going senile. That way I have proof of what I am doing and when.

    #2- I say shoverl all the damn snow right up their asses!

    #3- Would you stop knocking into me? I mean really? I like reading your emails. Sorry it’s so damn inconveinent for you, LMAO!

    #4- Mr. T has the ear-roach! lol. I hate the damn thing. He bought me one and I used in for a minute. It does come in useful when trying to do laundry or cook while talking on the phone but I’ve never worn it in public.

    #5- ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

    #6- Either he’s too lazy to put any effort into quiting or he’s an idiot. I vote for idiot!

    #7- Congrats on your upcoming vacation. My mind checked out on a vacation a little while back. Wish it would’ve said where it was going. I’m tired of being left behind.

    #8- Good question. I’ll have to ask Mr. T and (15). I’ll get back to you.

    #9- Isn’t being followed grounds for filing a restraining order?

    #10- On top of it my friend!

  2. I hear you, I hate listening to people bitch about it being -20c (68F) out here. And as far as the doo doo goes I say you just chuck it at him while he’s on his smoking bender. Just an idea.

      • Sadly I’m not shocked these days and to make it worse I’m sure his ego is through the roof on any given day. It has to be a self preservation thing or a true detachment from realality.

      • The truly sad thing, is that his mom said she is thinking about moving. When I asked why, she started talking about his ’emotional’ attachment to the dog, and how it was good for his morale. What about her morale? Then she said that she needed a bigger place b/c she sews and paints – why elderly person wants a bigger place? Thanks to his selfish ass, she will probably end up moving to a bigger place that SHE will have to look after, make bigger mortgage payments, and likely no longer be debt-free. Unbelievable!

  3. My favourite was the self-important SOB who wore his bluetooth earpiece contraption in church one Sunday. He actually kept it attached to his head the entire time, even to go and recieve holy communion. I wonder what the priest thought! Like really, what was he planning to do with it if his phone rang during the mass??

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