1- Why does WordPress notify me when I reply to my own posts? I know I commented and I don’t need an email telling me about something I did 1 second ago. And why the hell is it snowing in my browser?
2- Yes, I live in the province of Quebec, land of snow dumps, snow hills and snow bunnies, but why has it been snowing for 48 hours? Snow dumps don’t usually last that long so… can we get on with it already? Note to fellow Canadians (especially Montrealers): SHUT UP! I’m sick of hearing you people bitch and moan every time it snows! We live in Montreal, where snow makes an appearance at the same time every year. Why are you surprised that it’s snowing in December? Why are you surprised that the snow is actually staying on the ground? DUH – it’s -10 out. What do you expect? If you have a problem with snow, then I suggest you move. Maybe you can go down under and complain about the brightness of the sun!
3- Can you please not walk in a crowded mall while reading your emails on your Blackberry/ iPhone? The holidays are almost here. People are shopping. A LOT of people. If you absolutely need to read your emails, then go sit your ass down in a coffee shop instead of walking at a snail’s pace with your head down, oblivious to the world around you. I really need to write an etiquette post about shopping.
4- Hey you! Yes, YOU sporting the earpiece! Do you realize how self-importantly stupid you look? What? No… no I don’t think the earpiece was meant to be used as a fifth limb. Come again? You need it? Is that right… Would this be because you’re the CEO of a large corporation who absolutely must be reachable at all times, or because you’re just trying to look important and impress the people around you? No, I’m not impressed but thanks for asking. Hey easy buddy. What do you mean I’m a smart-ass? I might be a smart-ass but at least I don’t have a fifth limb growing out of my head!
5- Wanna know how you resolve a dog poop situation? You take the turd, go over to your neighbor’s, and dump it right outside his window. Before you all get riled up, I would like to point out that the crap belongs to the neighbor’s dog. The lawn belongs to me. My lawn and dog shit, do not go well together. Anyone have any other words for ‘poop?’ I’ve used about 4 in this paragraph alone.
6- I’ve accepted the fact that the pervert and his shitting dog are never going to leave. But can someone please tell me why the fuck he sits outside late at night, in the middle of winter? Not only does he sit out there for extended periods of time smoking, but he coughs repeatedly. Actually, is it called coughing when it sounds like both your lungs are about to be projectile-launched out of your chest? Here’s a thought: Why don’t you quit smoking? Then perhaps you’ll stop coughing, you bloody idiot.
7- In exactly seven days, I will be on vacation. I will have no computer and no CrackBerry. I will be unavailable for any and all work-related crap – I don’t even want to hear the word ‘work.’ Yes, your understanding is correct – I’m sick of work and work-related stress and December 21st, 5 p.m. can’t come soon enough.
8- I’m still trying to figure out why certain people have inflated egos. How does one acquire a big ego? Are they born with it or what?
9- What compels people on Twitter to follow me? And when you decide to follow me, do you actually know why you’re doing it? I’m going to guess that you don’t, otherwise you wouldn’t follow me today only to un-follow me tomorrow. Note to Tweeps: Just because you follow me, doesn’t mean I’ll follow you.
10- Random thought! Coming up on RAnnDomized: My playlist for 2010! So start thinking about your favorite tunes people – because I’ll want to hear all about them!
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