And Now I Let Go

I wasn’t going to write about this because yesterday, when I tried to put my thoughts and experience into words, it just wasn’t happening for me.  Thankfully, today it looks like my mental block has mysteriously vanished. What a shame! 😀

As my regular readers know, I’ve been on a quest for Zenitude (Annism!) for quite some time now. Letting go of stress, and calming my overactive brain has never been easy for me, so finding inner peace and calm, and obtaining clarity is something that’s pretty important to me. That said, along my journey I discovered that you can’t just snap your fingers and miraculously feel liberated of all your crap (especially if you own a brain that is in overdrive 24/7 – fantastic!).  There are a multitude of ways to achieve Zenitude once you’ve decided you need to make a change in your life; personally, I opted to use yoga as my tool to find both physical and mental well-being. I already work out and I figured yoga could only compliment that, if nothing else. I’ve been practicing yoga for about four years now, but it’s in the last two years that I really started feeling change happening – to feel more connected and grounded. Along the way I’ve encountered people who think yoga is for hippies, people who don’t think yoga is a ‘real’ sport, and people who just don’t think something like yoga can change a person.  I beg to differ. If you want to know why I disagree with that mindset, check out this post – it talks about my yogic ‘path.’  I’ve talked about this in a few other posts but apparently I didn’t categorize them correctly so you’ll have to read ALL my posts to find them 😉  You might also want to check out and this post – written by guest blogger Bram Levinson (a yogi!). In any case, let’s get to the point of this post already.

Yesterday, I ended up staying in all day, despite my best efforts to go to the gym. In the last month, I’ve been taking a break from everything – both working out and yoga, mainly due to a neck injury that has affected other body parts besides my neck.  At some point, I decided that it was OK for me to not work out  – and it’s OK for me to take a break from yoga, and not just because I have a neck injury. HUGE feat for me, who is typically riddled with guilt each and every time I skip a workout.  Anyway, I woke up and decided that I was going to attack my spare room, which in the last year, has become a depository for anything and everything. I didn’t realize that until I started going through papers under my desk…. and they dated back to April 2009. Oops! Truth be told, I still had unpacked boxes from when I moved back into my condo, post-flooding – those boxes had been neatly piled in a corner since September 2009 so it was about time I unpacked. You should know that when I’m stressed out and/or need to think, I go into a cleaning frenzy. For whatever reason, cleaning (and rearranging furniture) helps me process my thoughts and clear my mind. So off I went, recycling bags in tow. There was nothing significant in what I threw out, or in the things that I came across while I cleaned – nothing that would cause me to whimsically look back on a person or relationship, but at some point, I felt something happening. I suddenly felt like I was letting go – saying good-bye to something. This knowledge was powerful and very clear, and on the inside, I felt blissfully happy. Sure, there were a few tearful moments – but they didn’t last very long since I had no idea why I was tearful to begin with! Even today, I’m not sure what I’ve let go of, but I can tell you that it feels bloody amazing! I feel liberated. Nuts, right? I remember thinking “I’m letting go of the past to make way for the future.”

I believe, that were it not for my yoga practice, this wouldn’t be happening at all. I truly believe that my practice has helped me find peace of mind, clarity and joy.  It has blessed me with the ability to finally let go of the useless crap – even the stuff I didn’t even realize I might still be holding on to.  Sure, I still have a way to go before achieving full-on Zenitude, but I know that I’m on the right path because I have reaped the benefits already.

I foresee a 2011 with much change… and I can’t wait! How about you?

And what were some of your defining moments?

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6 thoughts on “And Now I Let Go

  1. Cleaning to clear the mind has always blown my mind. I guess the physical act of cleaning helps the mind clean? I don’t know but my better half is the same way. We just shared a few joyful tears ourselves over setting up christmas (of course the reason was deeper then just settin the stuff up). I find it odd how the mind releases emotions as it moves on.

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