It’s been a while since I’ve shared one of my train stories, so I thought I’d break my temporary vow of silence and start the week off on the right foot.
First, let’s talk about the trio of A-holes who invaded my little quad today – mom, dad and String-bean. I suddenly found myself surrounded by various body parts and other assorted shit that came in the form of jackets, toques, school bags, lunch bags, newspapers and pencils. I don’t know about you, but I LOVE being surrounded by other people’s shit, and if you include a little inappropriate touching in there, I am in Heaven. Perhaps you’ve confused the commuter train with a cargo ship? Perhaps you’ve forgotten that we are not traveling on VIA Rail, but via the AMT? Are you moving? Going on a trip? No? Then is it necessary to carry your kitchen sink around with you? Note: If you want to carry that much shit around, get a car!
As for String-bean – this kid did not sit across from me – he slouched across from me while almost fully extending his legs, and making me feel like a prisoner in my own seat. At one point, his damn knee was actually between my legs – are you kidding me? Are we dating or something? This is a clear violation of Commuter Etiquette 101! Apparently repeatedly stepping on his foot didn’t clue him in to the fact that maybe, he was taking up just a little too much room. His parents were of course, present, but did not deem it necessary to have him sit up like a civilized human being. I suppose it won’t come as a surprise when I tell you that the next thing I know, String-bean’s mother had leaned over me, her thigh pressing up against mine, while her bloody elbow was perched on my knee. My INJURED knee. Dude. I don’t think so. I was so aggravated that I let out a sigh that came out sounding more like a rumbling grunt, and then I shoved her with my leg. Who does that? What kind of society are we living in that makes it OK to lean up on total strangers? What do people not get about the concept of personal space?
The trio eventually got off the train, but was soon replaced by the couple who spent most of their train commute making out. I can’t decide what’s more annoying – strangers pushing up on me or watching two idiots exchange saliva for the whole world to see.
I wonder if Thomas allows this kind of inappropriate behavior in his caboose?
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