Over the last two weeks, my yoga practice and work-outs have taken a hit and I’ve been beating my head against the wall trying to figure out what my problem is (besides my assortment of injuries). Why do I feel a disconnect between mind and body? For those of you who lead an active lifestyle, you know how I feel; you know how frustrating it is when you’re on a roll, hitting the gym regularly, practicing yoga a couple of times a week – or doing whatever it is that helps you ditch the stress of everyday life, and then one day, it all comes to a grinding halt and you’re left listening to that little voice inside your head that just won’t quit. Mine says things like:
Go to the gym! You look huge today!
You should do some yoga!
Go power walking – it’s nice out and you didn’t go the gym/yoga/ box – whatever.
Stop being lazy! You won’t achieve your goal if you don’t work out!
Turd alert! (this is when I’m feeling particularly turd-like)
I could go on but you get the point. That voice not only guilt-trips me all day long, but it also zones in on every self-perceived flaw that I think I have and picks away at them like a scab. My more reasonable side occasionally steps in to remind that annoying voice that I’ve got a knee injury and two tendinitis, and “why don’t you just SHUT UP already” but the annoying voice persists.
So, I’ve been feeling blocked – like my mind and body are at odds with one another. My mind wants one thing and my body constantly tells it to piss off. The fact that I’ve been in a fair amount of pain probably doesn’t help soften my body’s attitude toward me, nor do the work-outs that I’ve been doing regardless of said pain. But hey – I can’t let the annoying voice win, right? After all, society expects me to be perfect.
Because I want to get to the root of the problem and eventually move past it, I’ve been giving this a lot of thought and I came to the conclusion that I’m not dealing with a lack of motivation or desire. I want to work out, and I’m desperate to step onto my mat for more then 20 darn minutes. And, it’s important to me keep cultivating that Zenitude I’ve been working so hard to achieve – so, what’s the problem? Ah-HA! Light bulb moment.
My ‘blockage’ goes hand-in-hand with the feeling of being overwhelmed at everything I “have” to do: gym, yoga, hot yoga, power walk, eat properly, don’t eat, lose weight, gain weight – work, work, work because it’s peak season, stress, don’t stress, run around to this place and that place. Somehow, I always find myself double-booked because I don’t keep track of what I’ve got going on, which further adds to my stress. It never ends – and I know it’s not just me. Men and women in today’s society simply feel overwhelmed – like there aren’t enough hours in a day to do what needs to get done. So at what point do we say STOP? When do we switch ourselves off and make time for ourselves? When do we reboot?
Thinking about all if this lead me to the realization that I’m always ‘on.’ My brain never stops; even when I’m ‘sleeping’, I’m thinking about work crap or feeling anxious that I’ve lost my Zen. When I get on my mat, I’m thinking about the pervert next door or Stomping Tom upstairs (I will pay good money to the person who invents the OFF switch for my brain, let me tell you!) . I feel like I’m ‘on’ 24/7. I have a laptop that never shuts down, a BlackBerry that never gets turned off, a personal cell phone that beeps with every incoming text message, a constant influx of emails flying through cyberspace, Tweets, Stumbles, Diggs, Facebook. Like so many people today, I’m almost always connected, reachable, which means that there’s always something interfering with my energy flow. And that, ladies and gents, is what’s creating my mind/body disconnect. What’s the solution? Well for me, it means turning off the laptop and ignoring the BB once I’m done with work at 5pm. I work to live, not the other way around. It also means that I need to keep working on how to effectively disassociate myself from all of the daily crap so that I can empty my mind and focus on achieving that mind/body connection. At some point, you have to step back and breathe. Recharge. Reboot.
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed and/or disconnected?