Off the Top of My Head: Rant

I was supposed to post this yesterday but I was feeling too aggravated. Today, not so aggravated – lucky readers – all 9 of you! I did have to conjure up yesterday’s frustrations in order to make this an effective post – I think I was successful πŸ˜€

1) The bicycle riding next-door pervert is still here.Why doesn’t he take his unemployed lazy ass, along with his shitting dog the hell out of here? This forty-something dude is living with his mother people. His mother! Quite frankly, I’ve had it with his peeping Tom bullshit. Get a life! Note to pervert-dog: stop shitting on my lawn!

2) I’m still amazed at the number of train assholes that exist out there. These people take the train every day and still haven’t figured out the concept of personal space. Hello? If you’re pushing someone, hitting them with your body/purse/backpack/whatever or hijacking their spot in their own damn seat,Β  you’re in their personal space! And BTW, apologies are free – try using them some time!

3) Irresponsible cyclists who take corners at warp speed without heeding the STOP sign. Hey dumb-ass, see that bright red sign over there? The one that’s on every other street corner? Yeah, that’s right – the one that mysteriously causes moving vehicles to come to a stop. Know what that is? A STOP sign. Just because you’re on a bike and sporting ugly neon spandex doesn’t mean that you’re immune to the rules of the road. If your ass gets mowed down by a truck, it will be your own damn fault.

4) I can’t believe people are talking to me about Christmas already. SHUT UP!

5) How many of you spit? How many of you spit on public streets and sidewalks while pedestrians are fluttering about all around you? I don’t spit because it’s uncivilized and rude, not to mention disgusting. There is nothing I love more then walking down a street and having some jackass spit right in front of me as he walks by. I suggest adding a few social skills to your vast repertoire of social etiquette – nimrod!

This is for the pervs, spitters, irresponsible cyclists and the socially inept:

I say, now I feel better! What’s annoying you this week?

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7 thoughts on “Off the Top of My Head: Rant

  1. Hahahahaha…a 40 something perv still living with his mum!?! Not good, not good at all!

    Yep, I’m definitely with you on the train rant – when I used to live and work in London going to work by train wasn’t something that filled me with beans!! I’m glad those days of sweaty ‘pits, accidental bum touching et al have gone!

    Cyclists, cabbies and bus drivers are the worst over here…they all think they own the road! But what really gets my goat are people who don’t indicate to let other drivers know where they’re going…Grrrr! AND even though I’m a woman driver, in my opinion, most of the women over here are baaaad drivers (excluding myself of course!!)

    Oh and don’t get me started on spitting – one of my pet hates is people spitting in the street…in fact people hoicking up gallons of phelgm in public should be put in the stocks and have said phlegm flicked at their faces and left there over-night!

    Hahaha…nice gorilla pic – apt!

  2. Well, you know what’s annoying me…so I won’t even go there! But I like the gorilla!!! He just sooooooooooo gets me today!

  3. LOVE IT! I am over the whole damn Christmas before Halloween thing. Busting out Christmas right before Thanksgiving is even pushing it for me. I was just bitching last night about the dumb ass that has already turned their Christmas lights on.

    And what the hell is up with the ugly neon spandex anyways? Have they passed some sort of bicyclists law that not only do you have to wear a helmet but you have to choose one of three god awful, ill-fitting outfits before commencing on your journey?

    As for the perv, if you want to really get him off your back – go buy a strap on dildo and when he’s least expecting it fling that thing around. Oh wait! Don’t! He might actually knock on your door at that point.

    Love the photo. I believe that’s how my family views me in the morning before my pot of coffee!

    Great post friend πŸ˜‰

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