Rosemary’s What?

Hello insomnia my old friend. You’ve come to mess with me again.
Because a vision softly creeping, Left its seeds while I was not sleeping.
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains, outside the realm of sleeping.

Insomnia has returned, and it’s been stalking me for two nights now. On Monday night, I didn’t sleep. Not a wink. Interestingly, I was able to function all day yesterday without even the hint of fatigue. Quite perplexing. Last night was a repeat of Monday, except that instead of pointlessly lying in my bed staring at the ceiling, I chose to watch <insert booming voice here> Rosemary’s Baby ! To say that this movie is stupid would be stating the obvious. To say that it was rather pointless would be an understatement. Looking at the movie poster, I was hoping for a little more ‘demonic’ in this movie:

I waited for the usual scare tactics that indicate the makings of  a “scary” movie. A bit of psychological terror here and there, a coven of crazy-ass witches possessed by demons… I could even appreciate bad, over-exaggerated music that give away each “horrific” scene that’s about to happen. Instead, I got a 3-hour movie with a scarecrow version of Mia Farrow and a bunch of actors I’ve never heard of before. I was thrilled to see Aaron Spelling playing the part of Dr, Shand (hey, he was the only actor I recognized besides Mia Farrow) but soon realized that Dr. Shand was likely not Mr. Spelling after all. After searching IMDB, I discovered that Dr. Shand is really Phil Leeds.  How utterly disappointing. But you can see the resemblance, right? Admittedly, Phil here is a little cheekier then Mr. Spelling. Gobble gobble.

This movie was oh so predictable and I anticipated every move. I wish certain parts of this movie had me on the edge of my seat, but they didn’t. For the most part, I fought to stay awake, convinced that the storyline would lead somewhere. Alas, it did not. The up side is that I may have found a cure for insomnia.

I think the scariest part of this movie was Roman Polanski’s portrayal of women. Granted, there were only two central female characters in this movie, but could Rosemary be any meeker? What a wuss! What a pushover! Oh yeah, it’s completely normal to experience mind-numbing pain during pregnancy – why would you want to see another doctor? In addition to this nonsense, I’m still trying to figure out why Rosemary chopped off her hair in favor of a boy cut because this was not explained to me in the movie. Also, what’s up with her walk? Was she supposed to be the embodiment of a walking, talking stick figure instead of a pregnant woman?

I have two favorite scenes; the first is when Rosemary determinedly sets off on a rescue mission to get her demon baby back. In her pajamas and slippers. O-K…. If I was planning to rescue a demon baby from a coven of witches, I think I might be a little more prepared. Because presumably, once I’ve stolen the demon baby away from those witches, I’ll be wanting to hightail it right on out of there. (Oh, and did anyone notice how easy it was to access the witchy neighbor’s flat? Just walk right into your linen closet and behind the shelves you will find…. a door with no lock!).

My second favorite scene took place after Rosemary stormed into the Castevet’s living room in her PJs, knife in hand. First of all, the room was full of witches, all of them OLD, and one Japanese guy with a camera. What the hell is a Japanese guy with a camera doing amongst a group of witches? Rosemary saw her demon baby (who looked rather like a feathered mud pile) and freaked out. Out of nowhere, the witches and the Japanese guy started chanting and yelling something about Satan and death or something. All the while, Japanese guy is taking pictures of demon baby in his black crib.

The demon baby eventually started fussing because one of the old witch bags was rocking his cradle too quickly. She refused to let Rosemary take over until Castevet orders her to. As she walked away she stuck her tongue out at Rosemary. What. the. fuck?

The movie ends with Rosemary rocking her demon baby while the witches and the Japanese guy admire the bond that is forming between human and demon baby. That’s it in a nutshell.

Anyone seen this movie? If so, what did you think? What’s the worst movie you’ve seen?

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6 thoughts on “Rosemary’s What?

  1. I can’t do horror movies – even if they aren’t scary, because I have such a creative imagination, they end up being really scary in my head. I also change the endings to many movies I don’t like, in my head – and often have trouble remembering which was which!!! I gave up trying to prove that I “could” now i just don’t bother with horror moves – I have a creative enough imagination that causes horrible nightmares – I don’t need the help! The worst movie I ever saw was this movie called “Guardian”, I think. it was about a nanny – that later turned into a tree. Yeah, it was that stupid!!!

  2. Way too funny. I have had insomnia this week also, but instead of watching Rosemary’s baby I watched Deadline with Brittney Murphy. I learned something from your post that I wasn’t aware of. I saw Rosemary’s Baby quite a while ago and could have sworn it was Aaron Spelling in it, but you are right. Who knew? lol

    I have always loved to watch horror movie and can usually watch them over and over again. This one, however, I saw one time and forgot about it. I don’t remember the details really but remember thinking it was corny and wasn’t impressed at all. It wasn’t scared or intrigued whatsoever.

    I’ve watched so many bad movies that I couldn’t pick just one but Rosemary’s baby would be on the list for sure! It’s almost Halloween so I love to have the kids watch scary movies they have never seen before. I had them watch Pet Cemetery and they loved it. 😉

  3. I did actually see this movie a few times in my teens. I was in a ‘phase’ that involved watching a lot of bad horror movies in my basement.

    I can’t remember a single thing about the movie, and not even your description of it is ringing any bells. Except for the mind-numbing pregnancy pain. That, I remember – odd.

    I DO remember that the movie scared the cr*p out of me. I must have blocked it out of my memory.

    • I think that the way ‘horror’ movies are made has of course changed significantly since this one, and so has our perception of what we consider to be scary 🙂 I like Japanese horror because it has the ability to really get in your head – who know that Japanese filmmakers were so warped?

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