Grandmothers & Strange Men

I awoke this morning after another lousy night’s sleep, and with the makings of a headache – a sure sign that rain is on the way. Today would have been my grandmother’s birthday, and I could swear that every September 9th since her passing, this day is always dreary and rainy, so maybe I should just expect to have a headache at this time every year. In any case, I don’t think that’s the only reason I’m in one of my moods. Ongoing sleep deprivation and headaches eventually make irritable people. I am an irritable people right now, but if my grandmother was here, she would tell me to focus on the positive. Yes, we’ll do that later – I have a post to write.

I’m not ready for ‘real’ clothes and today calls for just such a thing. It’s 14C in Montreal right now, and while to me that doesn’t necessarily fall into the category of ‘cold weather,’ I had to wear pants. PANTS. I’m one of those people who will wear skirts and shorts all the way into October because I cannot fathom the thought of wearing bulky clothing and closed shoes so soon after summer has started. Of course, I’ve been feeling like an engine that’s overheating lately so that might explain my need to wear shorts all the way into October or possibly even November. In any case, pants made me cranky but I can get past that.

I left the house to go to the train station and on my way there, almost got flattened by a flatbed truck because the ass of a driver didn’t stop at that big red sign that’s standing upright on the street corner. For those of you who are unfamiliar with this novelty, it’s called a STOP sign and it requires that you stop before continuing your journey to wherever it is that you’re going. Crank level just went up. I followed the driver (who obviously got his driver’s license in a box of Cracker Jack) to the parking lot, where, at the next STOP sign, he proceeded to partially turn right, and then back up in the opposite direction. No warning of course. I’d like to mention that he pulled his little maneuver at a 4-way stop and cars were present. And there’s a train track. This is what’s known as an asshole driver. Fudge!

In any case, I eventually parked my bloody car and went to top up my pass, then proceeded to walk down the platform to my ‘spot.’ As I was walking, this guy bearing a close resemblance to the Green Giant walked toward me, eyeballing me; he had on his headphones and I could hear his music loud and clear even though he was still about 5 feet away from me. Whatever. I got to my spot, put my bag down and tried to empty my mind of the crank levels that were slowly building. Well as luck would have it, the Green Giant came back my way and parked himself right next to me. As I stood there, I could hear this bozo’s music – dance music no less (who listens to that shit at 7 a.m. man?). It was incredibly loud and the way the sound came though his headphones, I could swear they were going to blow at any moment. You know the sound that your car speakers make when the music is too loud and there’s too much bass? Like that. I looked at him a couple of times but said nothing –  no small feat for me, especially when I’m cranky. This became increasingly difficult when the guy started grunting to his music. Not humming along, following the beat of the music. No –  grunting and bopping his head. Out of the corner of my eye I could see the woman on my left slowly looking over at the giant. My urge was to laugh, but I stifled my laughter because he might be crazy. He went on for some time with his grunting and bopping, and despite my overwhelming desire to burst out laughing, I did no such thing. Then, I observed him observing me; laughing and shaking his head. I’ve never been very shy when it comes to asking a person what their problem is; he of course had to pull his ear buds out because he couldn’t HEAR me, so I repeated my one-word question. “Problem?” The guy looked at me and informed me that I was wearing sandals. “And?” He further enlightened me by telling me that it’s cold. “Yes, and this is your business because?” Again, he tells me I’m wearing sandals, to which I replied that I was aware of that since I’d put them on myself this morning without the help of my mother. It was as though seeing a person wearing sandals at the start of September was the most incredible thing he’d ever seen or something. It’s not THAT cold out, and anyway, who the hell asked you Green Giant? He went on to tell me that he wasn’t trying to criticize me… glad we cleared that up – now please keep your thoughts to yourself buddy. Now, for those of you who know me, please visualize my “I’m not in the mood for this shit” look – you know the one that clearly demonstrates that I’m not in the mood to be nagged first thing in the morning? Admittedly, I may have been a little hard on him, and I think my ‘look’ may have frightened him. In any case, it lead to him turning down his music. Result!

When the train arrived, I went to sit in my usual spot by the old dude who always stands up the minute we get into CS – I use him as my camouflage to get off the train fast. As I sat listening to my music, I noticed that the train lesbian was on this morning and she was staring at me. I don’t know what it is about me that attracts this woman’s attention, but every single time we’re on the same train, I end up facing in her direction and she eyeballs me. All I can see is her horrible boy cut, and that weird red streak that’s centered at the front of her head. I’m not sure if this is some kind of fashion statement. Anyway, I’d like to mention that I don’t swing that way – I have no problem with anyone’s sexual preferences, but I don’t dig women. Once we got into CS, I hightailed it off the train.

And now, I am at my usual coffee shop, and the old Asian dude is back. Once again, he’s selected one of the chairs directly across from me; with his coffee, he is having a side of me. As usual, he sits there and stares at me for the full 45 minutes that I’m here, leaning over, leg twitching. Last year, I had a coffee shop stalker for close to 8 months – it made my mornings there quite uncomfortable as all he did was stare at me too. I attract the strangest people. I’m still trying to figure out why but I fear it’s one of those questions that may never be answeredl.

These are the things that make my mornings interesting and occasionally aggravating, but without them I would be bored. If anything, they make for interesting blog posts.

I picture my grandmother with me during these moments, chuckling and telling me that maybe the Green Giant or the old Asian dudes might be soul mates (LOL). Somehow, I don’t think so!

Have a great day!


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